I never made a big deal of turning 30, and it really isn’t that big of a deal. But what I never expected was the mindset shift I experienced in the run up to my birthday.

Getting older – even though 30 is still very young – made me realise a few things. First up, there are some things in life you have zero control over. But more importantly, there are seriously a whole lot more things you do have control over. Like your happiness! And the choice to change your environment.

Turning 30 jumpstarted a mindset change.

I realised I was stuck in a toxic relationship and that it would only get worse if I didn’t get out of it. Not only for my own sake but for the sake of my daughter. My mental health was severely getting worse which not only impacted my self worth and performance as a mother. It also heavily impacted my work and friendships.

Getting out of a toxic relationship sound easy enough. But actually getting out of it took me more than a year. It took me this long because I was scared. Scared to leave everything behind I’ve spend years building up. Scared that I would be taking a step back in life and having to start all over. I was scared for my and my daughter’s safety. And that was actually the turning point in making my decision. I just had to leave, even if it meant losing everything.

I would have never been able to take this step if my mindset hadn’t changed in the months leading up to that moment. And it sounds silly but my perspective changed so much getting closer to turning 30. I stopped comparing myself and my life to others but did take inspiration from others. I was done waiting for others to help me and reached out. I was sick and tired of waiting for some force from outside of myself to change how I felt about a situation and decided to be that change.

Sure there are people around you that will always be ready to jump in and help you. But if you keep relying on others you will never find true happiness. Be the change you want to see.

You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.

And yes, there are so many inspirational quotes everywhere on the internet that state the same thing. But actually knowing and feeling they are true is something completely different. No one told me to change my perspective, to change my mindset. No one pushed me in a different direction then what I was used to. I just realised that my mindset changed so much that I finally believed I could be the change. So I became the change I needed.