My heart is not mine to give

My heart chooses for herself who she lets in and who she keeps out. And even if she lets you in it might not be to that special place you long for. But If she does let you in and you happen to find yourself holding a little piece of her in your hands. Brittle and sharp, shining like the northern star. Not as bright that it blurs your vision but with a consistancy that pulses through your veins. Just know that she cannot afford to give out pieces that she might never see again. It is not easy for her to show the fragments that are normally kept hidden. So keep it close and keep it safe. Don’t try to shape it into something it is not. Don’t try to smooth out the corners because you are scared it might cut. Like rocks and landscapes, her fragments will take their final form when time takes charge. Let the wind and sea shape them with their soft touch and consistancy.

Be gentle with her, not just with the words you speak. Always remember that your actions speak louder, just don’t make false promises that you know you can’t keep. And don’t give her the world when she only asks for flowers. When all she needs is a little reasurance to take on the day, give her that strength or she’ll fly away. Remember that piece she so carefully gave you. When it starts to shine brighter and its shape starts to change. Believe me when I say she only gave out a few.

My heart is not shaped like you would expect. From afar it seems soft and curved but come closer and you’ll truly see how it all connects. When the light shines on her, she glistens with the exuberance of a fourth of July sparkler. Gleaming in all different directions, some parts brigther then others. However I cannot show you all in detail, so who better to tell you then my heart herself.

Don’t be shy please step inside, it might look so pretty but come take a look. 
Up close you'll see who I truly am, the shapes of me are not found in any book.
Don't hesitate or I might change my mind.
Don't be afraid of what you will find.
Come near and you might get a glimpse.
Of why I shine so bright even when the light dims.
See all those pieces like a mirror when shattered.
Still all in place don't worry, not that it mattered.
Every piece shaped by heartbreak and sorrow.
But also their beauty that is brought by yesterday and tomorrow.
Jagged edges like a mountaintop.
Please don’t make me break, my rivers won’t stop.

Now you see why she guards herself so carefully. Be patience with her, be kind and honest as can be. One day she might let you come close, it is not to be taken lightly. So hold her in you heart and hold her tight.

Don’t rip out a piece that was so carefully stacked. She won’t break easily but it might make her crack. Sometimes it feels like my heart isn’t mine to give. And don’t try and take it by force because it’s not your story to fix.

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