In the middle of the night when the world outside my bedroom window wraps itself in darkness I find myself lying awake in bed. Twisting and turning, the thoughts in my head keep running at the speed of light. Every thought a new story of what if, what could happen, or am I just making it up. The calm and serenity of a world asleep keeps me awake, wondering, and searching for answers to questions that I have not even asked. The more I force my thoughts to become still, more they seem to become. No matter how heavy my eyes are or the thoughts of hours ticking by until morning comes again can lift the words that are wrapped around my heart. Keeping me awake until I drown in them.
To calm my racing mind, I need to get out of bed. Folding a soft robe around my body like a hug that’s been given to me. I make my way to the kitchen to turn on the kettle, I’m in need for the warm embrace of steaming heat with tones of amber and oranges. If the night allows it and is not to sharp, I sit down on my balcony in the soft silent air. The moon bright and full painted against the obsidian expanse filed with specks of shining stars greets me. Engulfed by the stillness of midnight dreams, the calm comes over me in waves and settles in my bones.
In the midnight’s stillness that cannot not be forged I finally calm down to my very core. The thoughts in my head unravel themselves until I see them painted against the stars. Laid out in clear patterns and beautiful compositions, the words around my heart lift until I can finally speak them. But when the world is fast asleep there is no one to hear the words that I say. And that one soul that needs them is too far away.