What did you expect when you opened up my heart? Did you expect to see shattered pieces everywhere or an open space you could just walk in and redecorate. Placing pieces of you around the place like you’ve already moved in. With no regards to if I even wanted you there or not?

So tell me, was it your intention to leave me gasping for air because I wasn’t ready for you? I wasn’t ready for the way you made me feel every nerve in my skin, every strand of hair when you fell into my arms. I wasn’t ready to loose myself in those inviting golden eyes. Was I even ready to hear the songs that you golden heart sings?

But neither were you. You weren’t ready to walk the trail with no ending. You weren’t ready to start the journey you asked for when it invited you in. You were closed of, scared of the jump for your heart had lost its spark to another. A flame extinguished by battles I didn’t see. Long fought but nowhere near forgotten. I know you didn’t mean to round of my corners and make me feel at home in a house that wasn’t ready to be build on crumbling stones.

It is clear to me now, that we weren’t ready for each other. A broken soul and someone lost in space. The timing was off no matter how hard we tried. But still we can’t let go even though it’s what we should do. Hurting each other with small talk and hope. Hidden kisses and long nights on the phone, but still all alone. Every time I find myself thinking of you I try to figure out how long you’ve been on my mind. And then I realise that you truly never left.

So tell me the truth, am I still on your mind? Do you still think of me when you’re laying in bed or is it a void that you find. Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me? Knowing we are not what we were supposed to be.